GIRLS NIGHT OUT

GIRLS NIGHT OUT

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Sooo I wrote something...

So I wrote something... I couldn't sleep tonight.. I had a lot running through my mind. So to TRY to sleep I decided to write it down... and this is what came out. I didn't fix anything... I just wrote. I think it's kind of interesting.... tell me what you think

That Simple Innocence

What happened to simple innocence? When our only care in the world was that the little lady bugs wing was broken. When time had no meaning; and boys had coodies.

What happened to the simple innocence? When we would splash around in big mud puddles? When there were faraway lands that we were the kings and queens of…. When judgment had no meaning and cuss words had no face.

Remember simple innocence? To where a simple smile would make your heart flutter. One simple compliment would make you blush for hours. One simple crush would silence your forged confidence.

Who made us grow up? Who made that innocence disappear? You? ... Did you follow that crowd? What made you do that drug, or drink that drink? What did that boy have to make you give it up so easily?

Don’t morals or goals mean anything to the world? Who made YOU give YOUR innocence up?

Who made love so tainted? What happened to true, pure, unpolluted love? When did dancing with no music get overrated? What happened to the nights of no sleep...just so you could watch them breath? What happened to the simple pick of a flower, just so you could put it behind her ear?

What happened to plain old chivalry or serenading? … What made us grow up? What made us get behind everyone else’s influence? What made us care about “opinions”?

What made us who we are?


You know... A boy once told me I was so beautiful that I could stop time…

That I was special enough that I could make ANYTHING happen…

Well if that’s true… I want that old innocence back. I want that feeling of blushing and falling in love. Knowing that boys have coodies, and that mud isn’t gross. I want that night of no sleep, and that flower in my hair. That sweet little whisper as a song is said in my ear.

I want my first love back. My first time back and my first kiss back. I want that first drink back. That first influence back… I want it all back.

I want to be that little girl, sitting in her favorite dress. With her perfectly curled hair and big red bow. With her moms heels, pearls and lipstick on.

I want to dream with perfect fantasies. Where stress, time, and cares haven’t taken their toll.

I need that simple innocence back…I need.... I need it all back!

confusion

old love, or afraid of commitment.

no future, possible love

can treat me better, never been treated better

cant live without, already have

in love with, in lust with

is it worth it to put up with an old love who you know you have no future with?

or is it worth to deal with someone afraid of commitment but when he does... could very possibly be your future.

... i've already been hurt by both.

but now that everything I tried to hide is coming back, very possibly to bite me in you know where

is it worth getting back into at all?

but the feelings for both are coming back .. and strong.

They say you never marry your first love, right?

I'm so confused....

ok ok ok... update time

sooo its been like FOREVER since I have updated my online journal. But in all defense I have been extremely busy doing awesome things!! Haha. which I will show you later. But lets see.. Ummmm what have I done over the past 20 days.

Well Last Saturday I entered my FIRST real Design Contest. There were over 65 contestants that were broken down into 14 teams. We were given 5 hours to work as hard as we could to design an entire pediatric office.... and with all of the requirements that they gave us it would have "normally" taken over 30 hours... sooo pretty much we were completely stressed and freaking out and working hectically. soo yea. But around 4:30 we were forced to put our pencils down and go present in front of a panel of judges (about 8 or so) We were given 5 minutes to "sell" .. completely fluff it up and bs the whole way through. But after all 14 teams had presented we were all herded into a small room while the judges deliberated. After about 10 minutes they brought out the top three designs.... WHICH WAS MINE! WOOOOOOOOOO ... that was so awesome! I had never felt better. Its such a nice feeling to know that maybe.. just maybe you're in the right place and you're doing what you are supposed to do in life.

But they are naming First, Second and Third place on friday... so I will update you and let you know who wins. But first... here are some pictures of our winning design

















So here is a close up of our floor plan. I'll give you a little tour. You walk in through the front doors into a large waiting area with a half moon reception desk. you go down the hall way into the weigh in area or you can turn left into the restroom areas. If you keep going down the hallways there are 4 patient rooms on the right and 3 doctors offices on the left. If you turn left at the intersection. The room behind the restrooms is a small lab so that they can "test" the pee.. hahah. if you walk down farther there is a desk working area for all of the nurses to enter their paperwork to your right. and farther down that hallway is another 4 patient offices on the left and another little lab at the end of the hallway on the right. If you turn left. That will lead you into the small apartment that we (had to) include for the doctors saying on long shifts. As you walk into the apartment there is a small restroom to your left and 3 rooms to your right. If you walk farther that brings you into the kitchen on your left which connects to the dining area. Diagonal to that is the living area which is in the back corner f the apartment....

soo yea. thats my little confusing tour. =)

ANYWAY. Valentines day happened which kind of sucked.... kind of. Dad gave me his traditional "yellow" flower which was awesome and a box of SEES chocolates... yuuum haha. But other then that the day was kind of lame. I just went to school and worked on homework during the open lab hours. But at night my friend Jordan and I got together and had a "pajama party" and we made banana splits and watched baby mama WHICH IS HILARIOUS BTW.

umm OH I got pulled over last night.. which sucked. BUT I got out of it... AGAIN! =) thankyou thankyou (bows and waves hand to invisible audience) well ok it was SO dumb. He was TOTALLY hiding.. which I thought wasnt allowed. But I was getting off of the sixty onto mcclintock and there is a "no turn on red" sign. WELL WHO LISTENS TO THOSE. plus. NO ONE was around so I was just like meh, whatever. So I turned....and as soon as I did I saw out of the corner of my eye a car moving in a dark parking lot.... he was just WAITING for me to do that.... trickster... and of course he pulled out and "WHOOP" he lights went on.

and I was just sitting here like OOH GREAT..... gonna get a ticket.. I WAS DOING SOOOO GOOD TOO! ugh... how am I gonna pay this one... should be interesting.. WELL I get to call mom and dad now! haha.... that should be fun.

But he came up and was like "you ran an illegal red light blah blah blah... AND you dont have registration stickers on your car" and I was like wait what?! nooo really?

So I had to get out my registration and all that which was LAME. but I couldnt find my insurance... haha... typical. So while he was looking at my registration. Out falls that little sticker thing that I guess you're supposed to put on your car. haha.... whatever. so of course I make the officer put it on.. hahahahaa cuz im too lazy to get out of my car. haha.

But meanwhile while I'm sitting here looking for my insurance allll of the cars in my lap just feel like taking a little field trip doown to the side of the car.... wonderful. So I ask the officer if I could open my door to retreive the run away cards and while I'm doing that OUT FALLS A PERSCRIPTION BOTTLE! HAHAHA.......great.

And immediately he grabs it haha and starts looking at it. And he was just like "is this yours?" hahaha and I was like ummm yup... it was in MY car! haha. hahaah... ugh. funny.

well anyways long story short. I didnt get a ticket haha. cuz Im just amazing at getting out of them. =).... but i was angry cuz that took half an hour out of my "I NEED TO WORK ON HOMEWORK" schedule.. it was already midnight.. geez haha

buuuuuuuuuuut yea.... I think thats the gyst of my update... OH and you have to see what I've been working on in school lately! it's sooo pretty

there is more but i cant upload them for some reason

25 things to my perfect husband.

So mommy is always asking me what I want in my husband. And before I have never known. Because every man that I have ever been interested is either: abusive, alcoholic, over controlling, immature, moocher, over conceded, irresponsible, and dis-respectful.

So since I am getting to the point where I don't want a boyfriend AT ALL... I need to watch myself because that is when everyone says "that's when it happens and you get married" and I figure if that is true. I might as well have a list of what I REALLY want, just encase that does happen. I don't want to have a man like any of my ex's (minus one or two).

Before when mom asked me all I could come up with was:

-Nice to my kids
-Intelligent
-Successful... etc.

But not once did I mention anything about how they treat me.... interesting.

SO I have decided to alter my list. Something that resembles the perfect man, someone that I can respect, look up to, feel safe with, and fall in love with.

25 Things to my Perfect Husband:

-Intelligent
-Drive to Succeed
-Respectful to ANY woman
-Nice smile
-Good with kids
-Gentleman
-Worries about my needs/wants before his
-Wants a family
-Outgoing
-Sense of Humor
-Caring
-Sensitive
-A Good Role Model
-Has high morals
-Can cook
-Clean Cut
-Tall/Muscular/Hot ;p
-Religious (but religion doesn't matter to me)
-Humble
-Generous
-Treats me like I am the most prized possession in the world
-Can live with my stubbornness and laugh at my corks
-Can make me smile when I'm crying
-Has the same dreams of success as I do. (What that success is doesn't matter)
- Can make me feel safe


... there is definitely more to add to that but I can't think of it right now.... but hey. I'm making progress

Blind Contour Drawings

So on thursday class REALLY started.. It was not the introduction.. lets talk about the syllabus crap. And it was AMAZING!!! my teacher was talking to us about how america is so lazy...

Before people had to travel to far nations to find something for their inspiration. They had to look long and hard for that. And now in today's world. We are blind. We dont see. Think about it. We have so many things that are convenient to us. If you want inspiration.. just go on the internet... and you'll find THOUSANDS of things.

Those amazing details don't phase us anymore, because we see so many of them now. It is nothing special to us. So her mission is to get us to "see" by the end of the class period. She said that in college it took her and her classmates over 6 weeks before they started to really see....

But her mission was this. Blind contour drawing. Blind contour drawing is where you stare at an object for a certain amount of time, and draw it. But you are not allowed to look at your drawing. And you can not lift up your pencil, it has to be one continuous drawing. And if you look that the paper? Well, stop drawing and dont start till you look away again. You have to get excited about the details of an object.

And our object was our hand. We spent half an hour of our class. Staring at our hand and drawing it. She said something that really made me start thinking. "Your eye is the artist.. your hand is the slave" meaning.. your eye is what draws what you see... your hand is simply just tracing what is in your mind. She wants us to be able to look at a paper and see the image we are supposed to draw on that paper.. be able to see all of the detail.... wellll lets just say... our drawings weren't the best... I think we did a total of 5. But let me show you two of them....

Yea...... sooo obviously they arent like the rest of my other drawings... but you know what? it was the most fun drawing i've had. Very tiring drawing for half an hour and not lifting the pencil. Looking so closely at every single little wrinkle in your hand. It was amazing.

She told us that we had to start getting excited about our hand again. We had to talk to ourselves about the detail of our hand so that our mind never wandered. For example " and then there is a wringle there, and thats a deep one. Oh look the finger nail has alot of lines" it was kind of cool..



The first picture, was the backside of my hand and the second picture is the inside of my hand. And all of the scribbles are lines... the lines on the hands.

What do you think???

todays adventures

so today I have been weak... My diet has been HORRIBLE. and I am still half asleep. I'm trying to get back into the whole school mode... but it's not working. I try to go to bed at 10... so I can wake up and be at school at 8. But I toss and turn till 2 in the morning......

I knew I would end up doing this too myself. Well I slept in past my alarms... AGAIN. and woke up at 730. Threw my hair up and grabbed a cold, stiff piece of pizza from the pizza box beside my bed....

Ran to my car and showed up to class 10 minutes early!!! YAY for looking like a student who cares!!! WOOO.

But I was half asleep... and couldnt wake up. So even though I am trying to clean up my act.. I had to break and get a grande mocha (hot, no whip cream... and an extra shot)... just so that I could pay attention to the teacher.

After that.. in my next class... I was STARVING.... because during that class lunch comes and goes.... and there is no lunch break... hoooowwww wonderful. So I left for a second and went to the "student lounge" and grabbed a HUGE slice of pizza and a diet pepsi (no ice) and walked back...

of course I had to walk through campus while ALLLLL of the students got out of class... so not only am I not a healthy eater. But I look like a Fat Cow who pigs out on pizza and soda.. and the whole school witnessed it. Look.. I was going there for a blueberry muffin... but they didnt have any... and I walked away with this.. I blame the undeniable smell...

So here I am.. in classs. an empty Grande coffee cup, a small diet pepsi cup, and a plate with a half eaten HUGE slice of pizza..... ugh.


AND I didnt even have time to take a shower... and I'm stuck here till 430.....